I remember falling hard for my husband. The feeling of living and breathing him consumed me as I am sure it does with most people when they fall in love. The other person becomes our everything, so much so that the sheer thought of them will make our hearts flutter, and give us the sensation of flight. We want nothing more than to be next to that person every moment for the rest of our days. More than that, we can’t keep our hands off of each other! Sex becomes all we want to do and, oh man, is it fun. Ah, love, how blissful you are!
But, what happens when you’ve been with your love for a few years and the two of you are busy with your lives making sure all the odds and ends are met? What do you do when your sex life consists of scheduled quickies and half-awake encounters? My significant other and I had just those experiences, and let me be the first to say they were not romantic in the least, nor was it exciting. Our sex life had become mundane. We took notice of our “low” time and had to have an awkward discussion neither one of us had ever thought we would have to have with one another…or anyone for that matter. Who thinks they are going to need to have a talk about how their sex life has seriously declined when the two of them are only 30?
Improve Your Sex Life With Your Spouse
Keep An Open Dialogue
We began with an open dialogue which included what each one of us thought was important to us. It didn’t necessarily have to be about sex, but we did make it strictly about the two of us. We did not allow any outside factors to convolute what the real issues were. We talked about the expectations we had of each other and how we could meet those expectations. We talked about how much time we spent together as just the two of us and how it made both of us feel when we didn’t make time for each other. Eventually the conversation did turn into sexual expectations, but by beginning our discussion with anything that had nothing to do with sex, the looming awkwardness of the subject had dissipated leaving room for us to tackle what was really happening to our sex life. He told me his wants and desires, as well as his fantasies (which I had once obliged, but had since foregone due to my neglect of making time for him). I was able to reciprocate effortlessly, thus creating an atmosphere for the beginning of a blissful sex life.
During our talk, we had discovered we’d been neglecting each other by way of hardly touching anymore. I don’t mean sexually, I mean hugging, kissing, caressing… We were both shocked by this revelation. It hadn’t occurred to us just how distant we had become not just as lovers, but as partners as well. Of course, we both found this to be unacceptable and promised to always make time for touch. A gentle kiss, or an embrace became a norm again, improving our love life immensely.
Keep an Open Mind
The next step we took was trying new things if you know what I mean. We began experimenting with our sexuality and having fun with it. We started talking to each other during sex, essentially teaching each other about what made our sensual clocks tick. This may seem a little weird, but even though we had already been together for many years, it turned out there were things we didn’t know about each other in the bedroom. Our desires had already surfaced and by this point, we were able to feel comfortable enough to try things with each other that perhaps we had once believed were only ever going to be fantasies. By keeping an open mind, we were turning each other on in ways we had never done before.
Sex is Awesome
Sex is a wonderful thing, especially when you share it with someone you love. It has countless benefits, feels good and is a natural desire we all have. How we treat sex with our significant others is what turns sex into making love. There is something which makes making love one of the most incredible feelings in the world. I remember the first time my one-and-only and I made love and I also remember when we stopped. I remember missing him, missing us, even when we spent plenty of time with each other. It wasn’t until we finally communicated with each other that we realized what we were really missing. Making love; even simply putting the two words together is pleasing. Though I am a firm believer that two people cannot make love every time they get intimate, I have found we make love more often now than we had ever before, all thanks to our “awkward” talk.
If you are experiencing a wane in your sex life and are open to the idea of an “awkward” talk, this may be the solution for you too!