Parenting…another phase for many individuals who flex their “adulting” capacity. While it is a rewarding post in the lives of many, it can be equally stressful. Especially with pubescent teens running amuck in your home!
Just last night I was visiting with a friend, we shall call him “G-Bob,” and he related a tale of how his son – a freshman in high school – threw the biggest block party his neighborhood has seen while he was working the night shift at a hospital. It has since become a family joke, but one G-Bob didn’t find funny at the time of its’ unfolding.
Many a sleepless night has been had by parents worrying over the shenanigans and phases of their children’s lives. So, in an effort to calm those overactive parental neural connections, we decided to write a little ditty on some of the things your kids may be keeping from you or flat out lying to you about.
6 Serious Things Your Kids Don’t Tell You
Before we delve into this next subject matter, keep in mind that kids and adults lie for one simple reason – they don’t want to get in trouble! Hard to believe, I know. Oftentimes the truth is the thing which is punishable. Yes, the old “Damned if I do and damned if I don’t,” song and dance most people are all too familiar with…especially when what you want, as a parent, is the truth!
Getting A Bad Grade
Of course kids don’t want their parents seeing a bad grade! And in the age of photoshop and editing capabilities, it is getting easier and easier for kids to lie about what’s been going on in their academic life. Not the worst thing a kid can do.
They have a boyfriend or girlfriend
Many parents have rules about dating, but that doesn’t mean kids adhere to these rules. Are they really spending the night at their girlfriend’s house or are they going out to see their secret S/O?
They are having sex
Teens have tons of hormones flowing through their bodies, and it’s natural for them to start feeling “curious” if you catch my drift. However, it can be embarrassing to admit it to mom or dad, or worse, mom and dad fly off the handle when they find out. This is definitely one of those things which would require a high level of trust for your teen to talk to you about. Have you given them a safe space to approach you on this topic?
They are experimenting with drugs/alcohol
It’s an unfortunate fact that drugs and alcohol can be found in American schools. It’s also presumptuous to assume that your child hasn’t been exposed to them in one form or another. Whether because of peer pressure or sheer curiosity, some kids end up trying drugs, and some fall down the rabbit hole.
Again, hormones are coursing through their bodies and sometimes it’s easier expressing this energy from behind a screen rather than having to face sexual rejection from their peers. Pornography, however, can be incredibly addictive. And checking your teen’s browser history or intruding in on their lives may push them further away.
Other Online Activity
With the dawn of the social media age came with it new forms of communication…and bullying. My 9-year-old was showing me her friend’s Instagram account, and she had posted a meme saying something like “97% of people would cry if Justin Bieber hung himself, the other 3% would be laughing. Share if you are part of the 3%.” She thought it was funny – I did not.
We had a talk about that – I asked her how she would feel if she was Justin Bieber and saw this post. Naturally, she said she wouldn’t like it – she would feel extremely sad. Unfortunately, social media is another way for kids to isolate one another. Whether they are the ones being isolated or the ones isolating others, certain online activity can be dangerous.
Opening Up the Lines of Communication Between Parents and Teens
Being a teenager is a trip. On one hand, there is this need to be accepted by a group of friends, and on the other, is the desire to flex your individuality and personal opinions regardless of the consequences.
One of the things I’ve learned is that having open channels of communication is crucial. Do you create a safe space for your teens to come and talk to you? When they do come to you with the truth, do you punish them for it?
I remember being young and telling my mother everything. I had started working right after I turned 16 and started coming home smelling like smoke. My mom knew I was smoking cigarettes and sat down to have a conversation with me about it. She wasn’t angry or upset, she simply wished that I stop. As we continued this conversation, she wished to know more about my life as it had turned hectic. I went to school full time, did my extra-curricular activities and worked as well. I opened up to her and told her about parties happening in people’s homes and what was found there. She then told me something I never forgot: she said to me, “I want to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. I am not going to tell you no or stop you, but I do want to be there if something should happen.” Guess who told her momma everything after that?
While this worked for me, keep in mind that every teen is different and may require a different strategy. The important thing is to find a way to open up those lines of communication so that your child is safe to talk to you about prickly subjects you may not agree with.
What WeDames Offers
WeDames is an organization which spotlights local businesses and presents them in front of Springfield’s most influential market segment, the people of Springfield, MO.! In short, we set up fun events (such as ladies night out, debutantes and daiquiris, and madams and mimosas) whereby a local business, looking to market their products and services to women, sponsors one of these said events and enjoys building rapport with our female patrons.
Keep in mind, we don’t ONLY host events for women: every month we host a Business Mixer, a Ladies-Only Wine night and a general Schmooze event. WeDudes are invited to the Business Mixers, which are the first Wednesday of every month, and our general schmooze events! You can find deets on all of these events here and you can RSVP for them as well!
Our audience/readers are a mix of men and women – from college students to entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents, professionals and more, ranging from 21 years old to 60 years old! Each event is fun, entertaining, and leaves everyone wanting to know when the next one is. We have a packed house each time!
If you are interested in attending one of these events, all you need to do is click here and join our Meetup group (there is no fee to join). We host other social outings in and around Springfield, MO. at local restaurants and lounges so we can meet other awesome people in our town.
If you are a business looking to host/sponsor an event or series of events, keep in mind you can do everything from sponsor a gift at an event, to sponsoring the whole event itself- it all depends on you and what you would like to achieve out of it! Feel free to fill out the contact form here and a representative will get back with you shortly.